A Child’s Machiavelli: A Primer on Power

 

These quotes are from a book by the title above. Once you have read them, you might not need to read the original. To what extent The Prince was right or not, I will not comment.

• It’s best to have a family with a famous name ‘cos then you’ll automatically impress people and become really popular.
• If you want to take over some place, don’t forget to kill not just the boss, but also all his kids!
• Either be really nice to people or kill’em. If you don’t kill’em and you’re not so nice, then they’re gonna come after you.
• If you just took over some place, raise everybody’s allowance. Then people will think you really like ‘em, and you can do whatever you want to ‘em for a little while.
• If you help make someone Big, watch out. They’re gonna wanna get rid of you so everyone thinks they did it alone.
• It’s easy to take over some place with a really strong Chief. Everyone’s used to being bossed around all the time, so when you get rid of him, people’re barely gonna notice.
• If you wanna take over some place where the people could decide for themselves, you have to destroy everything.
•  Never be afraid to beat someone up if you have to. First, try to talk ‘em into listening, but just in case, you know what to do!
• The hardest job you can ever do is try to make things better for the Little Guys. The Big Guys are gonna hate your guts. And the Little Guys will be afraid to open their mouths.
• People always think Bosses are bad news, so when you surprise ‘em with your niceness, they’ll be so happy, they’ll totally turn into your slaves!
• Try to make everyone you know totally dependent on you, then you don’t have to worry so much that they’re gonna try to get rid of you.
• When you take over some place, kill off everyone who’s against you, pronto, then act really nice to everyone left.
• A gun is a man’s best friend.
• Only give things away when people are watching. If you wanna give presents to people, make sure it’s other people’s stuff.
• If you’re not a Boss but you wanna be one, make sure you trick everyone into thinking you’re a really generous guy.
• Everyone says you should be nice, but no one really is, so if you do what you should and be nice all the time, you’re probably gonna get screwed.
• You can do anything to people. As long as you don’t steal their girlfriends, they’re never really gonna hate you.
• You’re better off having people scared of you than liking you. Now, it’s okay if people are scared of you. Just make sure they don’t hate you.
• Be really nice to your closest underlings. Make them love you by giving them lots of presents.
• If somebody’s got to hate you, make sure it’s a bunch of weaklings with no money.
• Don’t keep your promises if there’s no reason to anymore—nobody else does.
• Have five best friends who tell you what they really think, but only when you ask.