An open letter to Governor Bevin

Dear Governor Bevin:

I wish to applaud you on your statement earlier this week that Republicans should be ready for blood to be shed in the defense of their Party. In saying this, you have echoed the words of your Supreme Leader, who said that if he lost the election there might be violence.

You are far from alone in your sentiments. The man who hung an effigy of Hillary Clinton along an Oregon highway this week has made it clear that Democrats will soon suffer the fate that lynched blacks suffered in earlier decades.

I realize that you have left open the possibility of bloodshed in either direction: Democrat blood by Republicans, or Republican blood by Democrats. But Republicans have a lot more guns. Therefore it is very unlikely that Democrats would shoot Republicans.

Opposition to the Republican Party has gone on far too long. Anyone who hesitates to give complete devotion to your Party should be swept away as quickly as possible. And you can start with me. While I am not indicating whether I support Clinton or not, I unhesitatingly affirm that I do not worship Trump. He is a mere human being who does not deserve the religious reverence that his followers give Him.

So I invite you to begin your bloodshed with me. I teach classes in the Biological Sciences building at Southeastern Oklahoma State University in Durant. You can find me there almost every weekday. You can send somebody to shoot me, assuming you do not have time to do it yourself. Other than a few hundred students who might be in the way, it should be a pretty clear shot. There might be some difficulty in crossing state lines to do this, but you can probably hire someone in Oklahoma to do it.

I am a member of the Cherokee tribe. You used to have Cherokees in Kentucky (though most were in Tennessee, North Carolina, and Georgia), but you got rid of us in 1838. I provide this information just in case it makes it easier for you or someone else to shoot me. Proportional to population, far more Native Americans have been shot by whites than the other way around, so my assassination would not be too unusual in American history.

Think of the prestige you would get if you back up your words with actions. You should get started. When can I expect you or your surrogate to arrive?

Oh, and I teach evolution too.